


In the Darkest Place

by GinnyK



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: Missing scenes from Season 17, Episode 6, No Time for Despair.
Relationships: Teddy Altman/Tom Koracick
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Teddy pulled on a new pair of gloves as she took a quick look at Meredith’s vital signs and other pertinent information which had been hastily scribbled on the window to her room. The numbers looked better; Teddy was glad to see that. She’d also heard a rumor that Meredith had had a visitor earlier in the day.

From outside the room Teddy could see her patient flipping through a magazine, a most welcome sight after 8 days of basically sleep and nothing else.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Teddy asked as she let the door close behind her.

“Better, thanks,” Meredith replied as she tossed the magazine aside.

“Numbers look better. Hopefully we can get you out of here in a few days,” Teddy said as she checked the settings on the high flow oxygen.

“Can I try to lose this?” Meredith asked, pointing to the oxygen tubing.

“We can try the regular canula but the O2 sensor stays on,” Teddy offered.

“Deal,” Meredith agreed as she removed everything, rubbing her face a little, crinkling up her nose. She took the regular nasal O2 canula Teddy held out, adjusting it and putting her mask back on. Teddy handed her the O2 sensor and took a seat in the chair next to her, opening the drawer to the bedside table so she could prop up her feet for a few minutes.

“So, I heard you had an unauthorized visitor,” Teddy said, in the most matter of fact tone she could muster up.

“That would be correct. All his idea, by the way. I had no idea he was coming,” Meredith replied with a hidden smile. “It was nice to see him though,” she added with a little laugh.

“How is he, not that it’s any of my business or anything,” Teddy said quickly, cringing at how ridiculous she sounded to her own ears.

“He’s hanging in, going a bit stir crazy, not big on relaxing and taking it easy.”

“No, he’s not big on sitting still. I think he’s the poster child for adult ADD,” Teddy giggled.

“Honestly?” Meredith said simply. Teddy just nodded. “He needs a friend.”

“And I’m that friend? I don’t think so,” Teddy answered quickly.

“But you do care, right?” Meredith asked as she raised the head of the bed a bit more, sitting up cross legged under the standard issue white cotton hospital blanket.

“Of course, I do. Not sure the feeling is mutual,” Teddy sighed as she fiddled with her ID badge.

“It is. Go see him. If it doesn’t go well, fake getting a page and leave the room. It’s what I do,” Meredith teased.

Teddy chuckled. She took a deep breath against the tears she felt starting to prick at her eyes. And with the hood on, wiping away the tears was a chore. “You really think he wants to see me?” she asked, feeling very unsure of things.

“Yes, go. Leave me alone, I have a trashy magazine to finish,” Meredith declared, making a big production out of picking up her reading material and opening it up with a flourish.

“Fine. Get some rest. I’ll check on you later. Behave yourself,” Teddy said as she patted Meredith’s foot and headed for the door. Meredith gave an exaggerated thumbs up and an unseen smile behind her mask.

********

Teddy updated Meredith’s vitals on the window before heading to the other side of the unit to check on Tom. As she approached his room, she unconsciously went to run her fingers through her hair, laughing to herself as her fingertips brushed against the face shield of the protective hood she was wearing. Looking around to see if anyone had seen here, she found the hallway basically clear, a not so common site given the times they found themselves in.

The blinds to Tom’s room were partially shut as usual, he preferred not to be on display as if he were in the proverbial fishbowl. The staff wasn’t thrilled as it meant they actually had to open up the door each time to check on him and as expected he was not exactly a model patient, as evidenced by his unapproved road trip earlier.

As with Meredith, Teddy took a quick glance at his vitals, written on the window for all to see, as Tom complained about more than once. They were looking pretty good, all things considered. She opened the door quietly in case he was asleep. He wasn’t. She found him sitting on the wide ledge, looking out the window at the lovely view of the parking lot. He had his knees pulled up, arms wrapped around his shins.

“Hey,” she whispered, not wanting to startle him as he didn’t appear to have heard her open the door.

“Hey yourself,” Tom replied softly as he tried to quickly swipe at his eyes a little. 

Teddy closed the door behind her and reached to grab the box of tissues off the bedside tray table. She clumsily pulled a few out with her gloved hand and held them out to Tom who took them with a little sigh. He yanked the mask down and removed the high flow oxygen so he could blow his nose.  
“You want to try and lose that for a few minutes?” Teddy asked, pointing to the tubing now sitting in his lap. “See how you do with regular nasal O2?”

“Might end up being the highlight of my day,” Tom muttered as he leaned over and draped the bulky tubing over the monitor to get it out of the way.

“I thought your rogue field trip would have been the highlight,” Teddy teased as she grabbed the nasal oxygen. 

“Ah, you heard about that?” Tom said with a wink. “Of course, you did,” he muttered with a little shrug of his shoulders. “It was good for both of us,” Tom said quietly.

“I’m sure it was,” Teddy said as she hooked the O2 tubing over his ears and adjusted the prongs a little. She brushed back his hair with a gloved hand and started to lean over to press a kiss to his forehead when the realization of the hood she was wearing hit her once again. They both chuckled a little as Tom grabbed her hand a gave it a quick squeeze. “You want to talk about it?” she offered as she took a seat at the other end of the ledge, pulling his feet into her lap. 

Tom answered with the expected shrug of his shoulders. “I just needed to get out of this room. Seemed like the best place to go. It’s not like Grey was going to be anywhere else,” he said, desperately trying to sound like the trip to see Meredith had been no big deal. “We talked a little about the kids, hers and well, David too. We mocked each other a little, held hands and shed a few tears,” Tom said quietly. 

“Sounds perfect,” Teddy sighed as she reached out for his hand again.

“I don’t know about perfect, but yes, the highlight of my day. So far at least,” he teased as he did his best to leer a little. 

Teddy just let out a not so ladylike snort and shook her head. She rubbed his feet, which despite the fact he was wearing hospital issued yellow socks, were still cold. He let out a contented sigh and rested his head against the window. And for a few moments, they were just content to be in the company of each other. It was the most relaxed they’d been around each other in months.

Tom was quiet as he looked out the window. He took a few deep breaths, clearly trying to decide if the regular flow O2 was enough for his still healing lungs. Teddy eventually slipped off the window ledge and grabbed the O2 sensor, clipping it on Tom’s index finger. She got a reading on the low end of acceptable. Tom swung his feet off the ledge and leaned over a little to check the number. He kicked his heels against the wall a little, clearly more than a bit fidgety. He eventually slid down, taking a minute to stand still and get his bearings before moving. 

“Uh, Tom, shouldn’t you be connected to more than oxygen,” Teddy said with a little glare as she reached to the grab the end of the IV tubing, which was capped off and no longer connected to the port in his hand.

“Disconnected it before my little road trip,” he answered with a wink as he shuffled to the bed after taking a lap around the room. Sitting down on the side of the bed, he held out his hand and let Teddy hook him back up to the IV.

“Tired?” Teddy asked. A completely unnecessary question given the yawn Tom was trying to hide as he curled up on the bed. To his credit he did answer her with a little nod. “You need anything before I go check on my more compliant patients?” Teddy teased.

“Something to drink,” he replied as he pulled the covers up to his chin.

“Ginger ale?” Teddy asked as she straightened out the blanket a little. 

“Please,” Tom whispered. Clearly whatever energy he’d had a few hours earlier was now a mere memory. 

Teddy patted his shoulder and left the room to grab the drink. She got waylaid by a few fellow doctors asking her to consult on a few patients. She finally got away and grabbed a can of ginger ale and headed to drop them off. A nurse was heading for Tom’s room as Teddy turned the corner. She was moving quickly, but not running, so Teddy was able to push her heart back where it belonged. Teddy watched from outside the room, clearly Tom was not in the middle of a medical emergency, no alarms were blaring and there were no overhead announcements.

By the time Teddy pushed the door to Tom’s room open after sanitizing her hands and pulling on a fresh set of gloves, he was awake and arguing with the nurse. She’d been in there all of 30 seconds and was clearly trying not to bolt from the room in utter frustration. 

“What’s up?” Teddy asked as she pulled the cans of soda out of the pockets of her scrub jacket and set them on the rolling table.

“O2 level dropped a bit and Dr. Koracick is not listening,” the nurse sighed as she waved the high flow oxygen tubing in front of her, as if to make a point.

“I’ve got it from here,” Teddy assured her as she gave the young nurse a sympathetic smile. She held out her hand for the tubing.

“Thank you,” the nurse whispered. She left the room quickly, not even glancing back at her patient. 

“Making friends I see,” Teddy said with a little glare. 

Tom just shrugged his shoulders, trying to look innocent but falling far short in his efforts. Teddy clucked tongue at him and tossed the offending apparatus in his lap. To his credit, Tom put the oxygen back on without further complaint. Teddy opened a can of ginger ale, pouring a bit in a cup for him. Tom scooted over a little, giving her room to perch on the edge of the bed.

“Thanks,” he muttered. “For the soda and the interference,” he added as he pointed vaguely towards the nurse who was changing some of the vitals on the window. 

“Yeah, you really should try to be more civil towards the nurses. They are trying to keep you alive after all,” Teddy deadpanned.

“Whatever,” Tom muttered as he took a few slow, deep breaths. A task which ended in him coughing a bit. 

Teddy handed him the cup and pulled her stethoscope from around her neck. Tom started to protest but quickly gave up from both the glare Teddy clearly gave him from behind the hood and his growing exhaustion. He’d never admit it aloud, but his little trip around the unit had taken a bigger toll on him than he has expected. 

“Deep breath,” Teddy coached as she took her time listening to his lungs. “Again,” she repeated.

“Well?” Tom asked after Teddy wound the stethoscope back around her neck.

“About the same as earlier. A bit better than yesterday,” Teddy announced as she reached for the thermometer.

“Suppose that’s something,” Tom muttered as he picked at a loose string on the white hospital blanket. He leaned towards Teddy so she could check his temperature. 

“99.1,” she announced. “Also, better than yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Tom muttered. “God, I hate this,” he spit out as he flopped down onto the bed with the grace of a 3 year old gearing up for a tantrum.

Teddy ignored his antics and just pulled the blanket up and over him. Tom rolled onto his side, facing her. She rubbed his back for a few minutes, waiting to see if he was going to elaborate on his statement. Not only did he not continue the conversation, he was asleep in mere minutes. Teddy stayed for a few minutes until she was paged 911 to Meredith’s room


	2. Chapter 2

Teddy adjusted the settings on the ventilator and stepped away from the bed. The chaos of the situation settled just a bit as she made herself as small as possible, wedging herself in the corner of her room. She felt as if she were watching the scene in front of her from afar. Maggie was holding Meredith’s hand, Richard was standing near the end of the bed, arms crossed, breathing heavily, eyes shimmering. Owen had just stepped into the hallway, after giving her a sad smile.

“Dr. Altman?” a voice called from the doorway. Teddy looked up to see Helm motioning towards her.

“What’s up?” Teddy asked as she followed Helm into the hallway. She pulled off her gloves, sanitized her hands out of pure reflex. Waving them a little in front of her to dry she silently urged Helm to spit out what she was clearly having trouble voicing.

“Uh, it’s about Dr. Koracick?” Helm started, saying nothing else. 

“What about Tom? Is he okay?” Teddy asked, trying to push back the fear she was starting to feel. 

“Yes, physically he’s fine, well, except for having COVID,” Helm rambled. Teddy snapped her fingers in front of the young resident’s face. “Sorry. I think he heard the overhead page to Dr. Grey’s room. Apparently, he’s thrown out everyone who’s tried to go in and check on him.”

“Okay, thanks. Text me if anything changes,” Teddy said as she hitched her thumb towards Meredith’s ICU room. 

“I will,” Helm answered, quickly heading back into Meredith’s room.

**********

Teddy took a lap around the ICU, trying to get herself together before heading to check on Tom.

Her pocket vibrated and she pulled out her cell phone, which was safely ensconced in a plastic bag, as it had been for months.

TK-what’s happening?

Teddy sighed as she walked and texted at the same time.

TA-on my way, I’ll explain everything. Take some deep breaths

TK-I’m trying

Tom was definitely in need of a few deep breaths by the time Teddy made her way to his room. She quickly pulled on a fresh pair of gloves outside his room. He was alone but there was a nurse, the same one who had been trying to help him earlier, standing watch outside his room.

“Good luck,” the young nurse with an exaggerated “thumbs up”.

Tom knew Teddy was outside his window, he’d opened the blinds when he heard the overhead page to Meredith’s room. It had taken everything in his power to stay where he was and not head out into the hall to see what was happening and if there was anything he could do to help. But deep down he knew he wouldn’t be any help, chances are he wouldn’t have made it 10 feet down the hall under his own power.

“What happened?” Tom asked as Teddy pushed the door to his room open, closing it behind her. 

Tom was sitting cross legged on the bed, the room dark except for the lights from the parking lot and the dim light overhead the bed. His mask sitting a bit crooked on his face and his eyes were predictably a little teary. Teddy sat down on the bed, reaching to straighten out the mask and cup his cheek for a second.

“The person across the hall from her coded and, being Meredith Gray, she decided to go over and help. And she did, but when she walked back to her room, she collapsed.”

“Is she….?” Tom asked, looking down at his lap, not able to complete his question.

“No,” Teddy assured him as she reached to hook a gloved finger under his chin, tipping it up just enough so she could look him in the eye. “But Richard had to make the decision to put her on a vent. So, we moved her to the ICU and I intubated her. She tolerated it pretty well. She’s got a whole team of people taking care of her, rooting her on.”

“And praying for her,” Tom said as he pulled his hands out from under the covers, revealing his rosary beads. Teddy pressed her hand over his. He leaned forward a little, resting his forehead against Teddy’s shoulder. Teddy wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back a little.

“Take a few deep breaths, slowly,” Teddy whispered.

Tom was able to take a dozen or so breaths before starting to cough, which was a vast improvement over the day before when any measured breaths quickly dissolved into a coughing fit.

“Good job,” Teddy said. Her words were meant to sound encouraging but instead they sounded as if she were talking to a preschooler. Tom didn’t seem to notice, or at least he didn’t tease her about it. “Did you eat any dinner?” she asked as she pointed towards his dinner tray, which basically looked untouched.

“Not much. Really getting tired of hospital food, now that I’m starting to be able to taste and smell again,’ Tom explained as he put the rosary beads back in the velvet pouch and stuck it into the drawer of the bedside table.

“You want me to get something for you?” Teddy offered.

“I don’t know,” Tom said as he quickly checked the time on his phone. “It’s late.”

“It’s 7:00, Tom. I’m not exactly ready for bed.”

“Is your shift over?”

“Shift? Not sure I’ve worked an actual shift in weeks. Besides, I didn’t eat and could go for something other than hospital fare. Come on, what do you want?” Teddy asked as she slid off the bed. 

“Beecher’s mac and cheese and tomato soup. And a cup of coffee that doesn’t taste like cardboard,” Tom answered after thinking about both what he really wanted and what wouldn’t take Teddy an hour to go out and get.

“Sounds perfect. Since I’ll be basically driving by your place, you need me to pick anything up?” she asked.

“No, Helm made a stop yesterday and picked up a few things,” he answered as he motioned towards the flannel shirt he had on over his blue hospital gown and the plaid blanket tossed on the end of the bed.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon. Behave yourself,” Teddy said with a smile as she patted his foot.

“Promise,” Tom answered, crossing his heart and giving her a little wink. He turned the television on and curled up a little, having every intention of behaving himself while Teddy was gone.

**************

Teddy came back with the food about 45 minutes later. She checked on Tom through the window. To her surprise, he was right where she’d left him, curled up on the bed, looking out the window. She set the food on the counter at the nurses’ station while she pulled on a gown, sanitized her hands, put on a new set of gloves and an N95 mask.

“You awake?” she asked as she opened the door, carrying the bag of food. She got a grunt from the man curled up on the bed as she left the room again to grab their coffees which were still on the counter.

By the time she unloaded the bag and set Tom’s food on the table, he had managed to sit up and pull off his mask.

“Smells good, or at least I’m pretty sure it does,” he muttered as he sniffed at little at the container of mac and cheese.

Teddy settled down on the other side of the room as she was obviously going to be taking her mask off to eat. 

“Hey, no hood. I’ve almost forgotten what you look like,” Tom teased as he pointed in Teddy’s direction. 

“Kind of hard to eat with the hood on. I’ll just stay over here, if you don’t mind,” Teddy explained as she turned her chair a little and propped her feet up on the windowsill. She opened up her grilled cheese sandwich, taking a large, satisfying bite.

“Of course not. I should only be contagious for another couple days. No real fever in 24 hours.,” he added as he pulled the lid off his soup. 

“You do seem to be on the mend. Can probably think about going home in a few days,” Teddy pointed out as she reached for her coffee.

“I can’t wait. I thought being stuck at home was bad. This sucks way worse,” Tom chuckled.

“Yeah, full blown COVID is worse than sitting at home with no symptoms,” Teddy deadpanned. “You want to try some of this?” she asked, holding up the untouched second half of her grilled cheese sandwich.

“Sure,” he said as he started to scoot off the bed. Teddy waved him back down, held her mask up to her face and set the piece of sandwich on the rolling table Tom had pushed in her direction.

“That’s good,” he agreed after taking a bite. “Basil?”

“Yep. Guess your sense of taste is coming back.” Tom just nodded in agreement. They were quiet for a little while, finishing their dinner, watching the storm clouds roll in.

Eventually Tom pushed the table away, having eaten all of the mac and cheese and most of the soup.

“Appetite’s back, that’s nice to see,” Teddy pointed out as she stood up to clear away the trash.

“Okay Teddy, we’re talked about my sense of taste and sense of smell and now my appetite. How about we change the subject?” Tom sighed.

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?” Teddy asked as she secured her mask back on and pulled a chair up next to the bed. She kicked her sneakers off and propped her feet up on the edge of the bed.

“You asked me about the night you came by to drop off soup and I didn’t answer. I was sitting on the other side of the front door essentially ignoring you, but to be honest I’m not sure I could have actually responded.”

“I’m not exactly surprised,” Teddy muttered as she grabbed a pair of gloves out the pocket of her scrub jacket. She pulled them on and reached to hold Tom’s hand. “How did you actually manage to call 911?”

“I think after you left, I slept for a pretty long time, sitting on the floor. When I woke up, I managed to basically crawl across the room and grab my cell,” Tom explained quietly.

“God, Tom, this could have ended much worse,” Teddy said as she sniffed a little.

“I know,” he whispered.

“Why did you wait so long?” Teddy asked. “Obviously you knew you were sick before you ended up sitting on the floor by the door.” She got the fully expected shrug of Tom’s shoulders. “You’re a doctor for God’s sake,” she said, a little harsher than she had planned. Tom pulled his hand away from hers. He turned a little towards the window, watching as the lightning lit up the sky. “Tommy, talk to me,” Teddy said, her voice softening as she scooted the chair closer to the bed. She let her hand drop to his hip. To his credit, he didn’t flinch.

Tom smiled at the fact she called him “Tommy”. It was something she hadn’t done in a long time. “I think at that very moment, when you were outside my front door, I just didn’t care what happened to me,” he admitted as he reached over to grab Teddy’s hand which was still sitting on his hip. 

His admission struck something in Teddy and it took her a good 30 seconds to respond. “How could you not care what happened to you. You are Dr. Thomas Koracick, a well respected, world class surgeon, loyal friend, devoted father….and a million other things I can’t quite come up with right now,” Teddy whispered as she slipped off the chair and perched on the edge of the bed.

“You forgot, royal pain in the ass, in your little list of attributes,” Tom muttered.

“Well, you’re sick, I was trying to be nice,” Teddy teased. “How could you not care if you lived or died?” she asked, her tone changing in an instant.

“I don’t know,” Tom replied quietly as he rolled over, facing her. “I guess ever since David died, I have this sense of awareness that when I do, you know, I’ll see him again. Doesn’t mean I have a death wish or that I’m suicidal, I’m not. It’s just knowing there’s a bright side to my own mortality makes it not so scary. Does that make any sense?” he asked as he propped himself up on one elbow and reached for his coffee.

“Makes perfect sense,” Teddy assured him as she rooted around the drawer and found him a straw so he could drink the coffee without having to sit up all the way.

“Thanks,” Tom muttered as he took the straw. “So, now that you’re privy to my deep, dark secrets, you still want to hang around here?” he smirked.

“Oh, your secrets have nothing on mine,” Teddy smirked right back.

“Do tell,” Tom said, putting the coffee back on the table. Teddy just shook her head. “Come on, please,” he whined.

“Not tonight. I will spill it all, someday, I promise,” Teddy said softly. “Right now, you need some sleep,” she said as she took the coffee and motioned for him to settle down.

“Settle down? I just had coffee,” he whined as he curled up a little more.

“It was decaf,” Teddy snorted as she grabbed the thermometer, checked his temperature and slipped the pulse ox sensor on his finger to get a reading. 

“I hate you,” Tom muttered sleepily as he let her tend to him without complaint. He let her pull the blanket up and tuck him in.

“Yeah, yeah. You say that now, but you won’t feel that way in the morning when you remember how nice this evening was and how much you appreciated my visit. Not to mention the real food I brought you.”

“It was nice,” Tom agreed. “Thanks.”

“You are more than welcome. I’m going to head home but if you need anything, just text. I’ll be up for a while. Get some sleep,” Teddy said as she rubbed his back a little. Tom just nodded and closed his eyes.

Teddy stayed for a little while longer, closing the blinds, making sure everything Tom could need was in reach and in general just staying with him for a few more minutes. She had to admit, it had been a nice evening. 

Perching on the edge of the bed for one more minute, Teddy gently cupped Tom’s cheek. She wanted nothing more than for things to be normal, to be able to gently press a kiss to his forehead, to gather him up in her arms and try to reassure him that everything would be fine, eventually. She settled for leaning over and pressing her forehead against his for a second.   
She turned the overhead light off, glanced one last time a Tom’s sleeping form before quietly slipping from the room. She updated his vitals on the window, sanitized her hands and headed off the unit, determined to head home, get a few hours’ sleep herself before starting the whole routine over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for the kudos!!


End file.
